Monthly Archives: January 2012

Our New MN Cousin!

We had the pleasure of visiting Heidi and John in MN and meeting Evan and Makenna’s new cousin, Lilly. All cousins got along well. Can’t wait to watch Lilly grow up!

Evan just had to be like his Uncle John so Shannon made a mustache from eyeliner for him! —->

25 Rules for Mothers with Sons

A good friend sent me this list. She found it on another blog and it was really good so I thought I’d pass it along via my blog. Its kinda long but really good. Bear with the length…

25 Rules for Mothers with Sons
Written by Tabitha Studer at www.studerteam.blogspot.com November 2011

1. Teach him words for how he feels.
Your son will scream out of frustration and hide out of embarrassment. He’ll cry from fear and bite out of excitement. Let his body move by the emotion, but also explain to him what the emotion is and the appropriate response to that emotion for future reference. Point out other people who are feeling the same thing and compare how they are showing that emotion. Talk him through your emotions so that someday when he is grown, he will know the difference between angry and embarrassed; between disappointment and grief.

2. Be a cheerleader for his life
There is no doubt that you are the loudest person in the stands at his t-ball games. There is no doubt that he will tell you to “stop, mom” when you sing along to his garage band’s lyrics. There is no doubt that he will get red-faced when you show his prom date his pictures from boy scouts. There is no doubt that he is not telling his prom date about your blog where you’ve been bragging about his life from his first time on the potty to the citizenship award he won in ninth grade. He will tell you to stop. He will say he’s embarrassed. But he will know that there is at least one person that is always rooting for him.

3. Teach him how to do laundry…and load the dishwasher, and iron a shirt. He may not always choose to do it. He may not ever have to do it. But someday his wife will thank you.

4. Read to him and read with him.
Emilie Buchwald said, “Children become readers on the laps of their parents.” Offer your son the opportunity to learn new things, believe in pretend places, and imagine bigger possibilities through books. Let him see you reading…reading the paper, reading novels, reading magazine articles. Help him understand that writing words down is a way to be present forever. Writers are the transcribers of history and memories. They keep a record of how we lived at that time; what we thought was interesting; how we spoke to each other; what was important. And readers help preserve and pass along those memories.

5. Encourage him to dance.
Dance, rhythm, and music are cultural universals. No matter where you go, no matter who you meet – they have some form of the three. It doesn’t have to be good. Just encourage your son that when he feels it, it’s perfectly fine to go ahead and bust a move.

6. Make sure he has examples of good men who are powerful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.
The examples of men with big muscles and a uniform (like Batman and LaMarr Woodley) will surround your son from birth. But make sure he also knows about men who kick a$s because of their brains (Albert Einstein), and their pen (Mark Twain), and their words (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.), and their determination (Team Hoyt), and their ideas (The Wright Brothers), and their integrity (Officer Frank Shankwitz), and fearlessness (Neil Armstrong), and their ability to keep their mouths closed when everyone else is screaming (Jackie Robinson).

7. Make sure he has examples of women who are beautiful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.
The examples of traditionally beautiful women (like Daphne Blake, Princess Jasmine, and Britney Spears) will surround your son from birth. But make sure he knows about women who are beautiful from the inside out because of their brains (Madame Marie Curie), and their pen (Harper Lee), and their words (Eleanor Roosevelt), and their determination (Anne Sullivan), and their ideas (Oprah Winfrey), and their integrity (Miep Gies), and fearlessness (Ameila Earhart), and their ability to open their mouths and take a stand when everyone else is silent (Aung San Suu Kyi).

8. Be an example of a beautiful woman with brains, determination, and integrity.
You already are all of those things. If you ever fear that you are somehow incapable of doing anything – remember this: If you have done any of the following: a) grew life b) impossibly and inconceivably got it out of your body c) taken care of a newborn d) made a pain go away with a kiss e) taught someone to read f) taught a toddler to eat with a utensil g) cleaned up diarrhea without gagging h) loved a child enough to be willing to give your life for them (regardless if they are your own) or i) found a way to be strong when that child is suffering…you are a superhero. Do not doubt yourself for one second. Seriously.

9. Teach him to have manners…because its nice… and it will make the world a little better of a place.

10. Give him something to believe in
Because someday he will be afraid, or nervous, or heartbroken, or lost, or just need you, and you won’t be able to be there. Give him something to turn to when it feels like he is alone, so that he knows that he will never be alone; never, never, never.

11. Teach him that there are times when you need to be gentle…like with babies, and flowers, and animals, and other people’s feelings.

12. Let him ruin his clothes.
Resolve to be cool about dirty and ruined clothes. You’ll be fighting a losing battle if you get upset every time he ruins another piece of clothing. Don’t waste your energy being angry about something inevitable. Boys tend to learn by destroying, jumping, spilling, falling, and making impossible messes. Dirty, ruined clothes are just par for the course.

13. Learn how to throw a football…or how to use a hockey stick, or read music, or draw panda bears (or in my case alpacas), or the names of different train engines, or learn to speak Elvish, or recognize the difference between Gryffindor and Slytherin, or the lyrics to his favorite song. Be in his life, not as an observer but as an active participant.

14. Go outside with him…turn off the television, unplug the video games, put your cellphone on the charger, even put your camera away. Just go outside and follow him around. Watch his face, explore his world, and let him ask questions. It’s like magic.

15. Let him lose
Losing sucks. Everybody isn’t always a winner. Even if you want to say, “You’re a winner because you tried,” don’t. He doesn’t feel like a winner, he feels sad and crappy and disappointed. And that’s a good thing, because sometimes life also sucks, no matter how hard (as moms) we try to make it not suck for our kids. This practice will do him good later when he loses again (and again, and again, and again, and again…..) Instead make sure he understands that – sometimes you win – sometimes you lose. But that doesn’t mean you ever give up.

16. Give him opportunities to help others.
There is a big difference in giving someone the opportunity to help and forcing someone to help. Giving the opportunity lights a flame in the heart and once the help is done the flame shines brighter and asks for more opportunities. Be an example of helping others in your own actions and the way your family helps each other and helps others together.

17. Remind him that practice makes perfect.
This doesn’t just apply to performance-based activities (like sports and music) but also applies to everything in life. You become a better writer by writing. You become a better listener by listening. You become better speaker by speaking. Show your son this when he is just young enough to understand (that means from birth, folks – they are making sense of the world as soon as they arrive), practice trick-or-treating at your own front door before the real thing. Practice how you will walk through airport security before a trip. Practice how you order your own food from the fast food cashier. Practice, practice, practice.

18. Answer him when he asks, “Why?”
Answer him, or search for the answer together. Show him the places to look for the answers (like his dad, or grandparents, or his aunts/uncles, or his books, or valid internet searches). Pose the question to him so he can begin thinking about answers himself. Someday, when he needs to ask questions he’s too embarrassed to ask you – he’ll know where to go to find the right answers.

19. Always carry band-aids and wipes on you.…especially the wipes.

20. Let his dad teach him how to do things.
…without interrupting about how to do it the ‘right way.’ If you let his dad show and teach and discover with your son while he is growing up, some day down the road (after a short period of your son believing his dad knows nothing), he will come to the realization that his dad knows everything. You will always be his mother, but in his grown-up man heart and mind, his dad will know the answers. And this will be how, when your son is too busy with life to call and chat with his mom, you will stay connected to what is happening in his life. Because he will call his dad for answers, and his dad will secretly come and ask you.

21. Give him something to release his energy…drums, a pen, a punching bag, wide open space, water, a dog. Give him something to go crazy with – or he will use your stuff. and then you’ll be sorry.

22. Build him forts.
Forts have the ability to make everyday normal stuff into magic. Throw the couch cushions, a couple blankets, and some clothespins and you can transform your living room into the cave of wonders. For the rest of his life, he’ll be grateful to know that everyday normal stuff has the potential to be magical.

23. Take him to new places
Because it will make his brain and his heart open up wider, and the ideas and questions and memories will rush in.

24. Kiss him.
Any mother of sons will tell you that little boys are so loving and sweet. They can be harsh and wild and destructive during most of the day. But there are these moments when they are so kind and sensitive and tender. So much so that it can cause you to look around at the inward, reserved grown men in your life and think, ‘what happens in between that made you lose that?’ Let’s try to stop the cycle by kissing them when they’re loving and kissing them even more when they’re wild. Kissing them when they’re 2 months and kissing them when they’re 16 years old. You’re the mom – you can go ahead and kiss him no matter how big he gets – and make sure he knows it. p.s. (this one is just as important for dad’s too).

25. Be home base
You are home to him. When he learns to walk, he will wobble a few feet away from you and then come back, then wobble away a little farther and then come back. When he tries something new, he will look for your proud smile. When he learns to read, he will repeat the same book to you twenty times in a row, because you’re the only one who will listen that many times. When he plays his sport, he will search for your face in the stands. When he is sick, he will call you. When he really messes up, he will call you. When he is grown and strong and tough and big and he feels like crying, he will come to you; because a man can cry in front of his mother without feeling self-conscious. Even when he grows up and has a new woman in his life and gets a new home, you are still his mother; home base, the ever constant, like the sun. Know that in your heart and everything else will fall into place.

25 Rules for Mothers with Sons

A good friend sent me this list. She found it on another blog and it was really good so I thought I’d pass it along via my blog. Its kinda long but really good. Bear with the length…

25 Rules for Mothers with Sons
Written by Tabitha Studer at www.studerteam.blogspot.com November 2011

1. Teach him words for how he feels.
Your son will scream out of frustration and hide out of embarrassment. He’ll cry from fear and bite out of excitement. Let his body move by the emotion, but also explain to him what the emotion is and the appropriate response to that emotion for future reference. Point out other people who are feeling the same thing and compare how they are showing that emotion. Talk him through your emotions so that someday when he is grown, he will know the difference between angry and embarrassed; between disappointment and grief.

2. Be a cheerleader for his life
There is no doubt that you are the loudest person in the stands at his t-ball games. There is no doubt that he will tell you to “stop, mom” when you sing along to his garage band’s lyrics. There is no doubt that he will get red-faced when you show his prom date his pictures from boy scouts. There is no doubt that he is not telling his prom date about your blog where you’ve been bragging about his life from his first time on the potty to the citizenship award he won in ninth grade. He will tell you to stop. He will say he’s embarrassed. But he will know that there is at least one person that is always rooting for him.

3. Teach him how to do laundry…and load the dishwasher, and iron a shirt. He may not always choose to do it. He may not ever have to do it. But someday his wife will thank you.

4. Read to him and read with him.
Emilie Buchwald said, “Children become readers on the laps of their parents.” Offer your son the opportunity to learn new things, believe in pretend places, and imagine bigger possibilities through books. Let him see you reading…reading the paper, reading novels, reading magazine articles. Help him understand that writing words down is a way to be present forever. Writers are the transcribers of history and memories. They keep a record of how we lived at that time; what we thought was interesting; how we spoke to each other; what was important. And readers help preserve and pass along those memories.

5. Encourage him to dance.
Dance, rhythm, and music are cultural universals. No matter where you go, no matter who you meet – they have some form of the three. It doesn’t have to be good. Just encourage your son that when he feels it, it’s perfectly fine to go ahead and bust a move.

6. Make sure he has examples of good men who are powerful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.
The examples of men with big muscles and a uniform (like Batman and LaMarr Woodley) will surround your son from birth. But make sure he also knows about men who kick a$s because of their brains (Albert Einstein), and their pen (Mark Twain), and their words (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.), and their determination (Team Hoyt), and their ideas (The Wright Brothers), and their integrity (Officer Frank Shankwitz), and fearlessness (Neil Armstrong), and their ability to keep their mouths closed when everyone else is screaming (Jackie Robinson).

7. Make sure he has examples of women who are beautiful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.
The examples of traditionally beautiful women (like Daphne Blake, Princess Jasmine, and Britney Spears) will surround your son from birth. But make sure he knows about women who are beautiful from the inside out because of their brains (Madame Marie Curie), and their pen (Harper Lee), and their words (Eleanor Roosevelt), and their determination (Anne Sullivan), and their ideas (Oprah Winfrey), and their integrity (Miep Gies), and fearlessness (Ameila Earhart), and their ability to open their mouths and take a stand when everyone else is silent (Aung San Suu Kyi).

8. Be an example of a beautiful woman with brains, determination, and integrity.
You already are all of those things. If you ever fear that you are somehow incapable of doing anything – remember this: If you have done any of the following: a) grew life b) impossibly and inconceivably got it out of your body c) taken care of a newborn d) made a pain go away with a kiss e) taught someone to read f) taught a toddler to eat with a utensil g) cleaned up diarrhea without gagging h) loved a child enough to be willing to give your life for them (regardless if they are your own) or i) found a way to be strong when that child is suffering…you are a superhero. Do not doubt yourself for one second. Seriously.

9. Teach him to have manners…because its nice… and it will make the world a little better of a place.

10. Give him something to believe in
Because someday he will be afraid, or nervous, or heartbroken, or lost, or just need you, and you won’t be able to be there. Give him something to turn to when it feels like he is alone, so that he knows that he will never be alone; never, never, never.

11. Teach him that there are times when you need to be gentle…like with babies, and flowers, and animals, and other people’s feelings.

12. Let him ruin his clothes.
Resolve to be cool about dirty and ruined clothes. You’ll be fighting a losing battle if you get upset every time he ruins another piece of clothing. Don’t waste your energy being angry about something inevitable. Boys tend to learn by destroying, jumping, spilling, falling, and making impossible messes. Dirty, ruined clothes are just par for the course.

13. Learn how to throw a football…or how to use a hockey stick, or read music, or draw panda bears (or in my case alpacas), or the names of different train engines, or learn to speak Elvish, or recognize the difference between Gryffindor and Slytherin, or the lyrics to his favorite song. Be in his life, not as an observer but as an active participant.

14. Go outside with him…turn off the television, unplug the video games, put your cellphone on the charger, even put your camera away. Just go outside and follow him around. Watch his face, explore his world, and let him ask questions. It’s like magic.

15. Let him lose
Losing sucks. Everybody isn’t always a winner. Even if you want to say, “You’re a winner because you tried,” don’t. He doesn’t feel like a winner, he feels sad and crappy and disappointed. And that’s a good thing, because sometimes life also sucks, no matter how hard (as moms) we try to make it not suck for our kids. This practice will do him good later when he loses again (and again, and again, and again, and again…..) Instead make sure he understands that – sometimes you win – sometimes you lose. But that doesn’t mean you ever give up.

16. Give him opportunities to help others.
There is a big difference in giving someone the opportunity to help and forcing someone to help. Giving the opportunity lights a flame in the heart and once the help is done the flame shines brighter and asks for more opportunities. Be an example of helping others in your own actions and the way your family helps each other and helps others together.

17. Remind him that practice makes perfect.
This doesn’t just apply to performance-based activities (like sports and music) but also applies to everything in life. You become a better writer by writing. You become a better listener by listening. You become better speaker by speaking. Show your son this when he is just young enough to understand (that means from birth, folks – they are making sense of the world as soon as they arrive), practice trick-or-treating at your own front door before the real thing. Practice how you will walk through airport security before a trip. Practice how you order your own food from the fast food cashier. Practice, practice, practice.

18. Answer him when he asks, “Why?”
Answer him, or search for the answer together. Show him the places to look for the answers (like his dad, or grandparents, or his aunts/uncles, or his books, or valid internet searches). Pose the question to him so he can begin thinking about answers himself. Someday, when he needs to ask questions he’s too embarrassed to ask you – he’ll know where to go to find the right answers.

19. Always carry band-aids and wipes on you.…especially the wipes.

20. Let his dad teach him how to do things.
…without interrupting about how to do it the ‘right way.’ If you let his dad show and teach and discover with your son while he is growing up, some day down the road (after a short period of your son believing his dad knows nothing), he will come to the realization that his dad knows everything. You will always be his mother, but in his grown-up man heart and mind, his dad will know the answers. And this will be how, when your son is too busy with life to call and chat with his mom, you will stay connected to what is happening in his life. Because he will call his dad for answers, and his dad will secretly come and ask you.

21. Give him something to release his energy…drums, a pen, a punching bag, wide open space, water, a dog. Give him something to go crazy with – or he will use your stuff. and then you’ll be sorry.

22. Build him forts.
Forts have the ability to make everyday normal stuff into magic. Throw the couch cushions, a couple blankets, and some clothespins and you can transform your living room into the cave of wonders. For the rest of his life, he’ll be grateful to know that everyday normal stuff has the potential to be magical.

23. Take him to new places
Because it will make his brain and his heart open up wider, and the ideas and questions and memories will rush in.

24. Kiss him.
Any mother of sons will tell you that little boys are so loving and sweet. They can be harsh and wild and destructive during most of the day. But there are these moments when they are so kind and sensitive and tender. So much so that it can cause you to look around at the inward, reserved grown men in your life and think, ‘what happens in between that made you lose that?’ Let’s try to stop the cycle by kissing them when they’re loving and kissing them even more when they’re wild. Kissing them when they’re 2 months and kissing them when they’re 16 years old. You’re the mom – you can go ahead and kiss him no matter how big he gets – and make sure he knows it. p.s. (this one is just as important for dad’s too).

25. Be home base
You are home to him. When he learns to walk, he will wobble a few feet away from you and then come back, then wobble away a little farther and then come back. When he tries something new, he will look for your proud smile. When he learns to read, he will repeat the same book to you twenty times in a row, because you’re the only one who will listen that many times. When he plays his sport, he will search for your face in the stands. When he is sick, he will call you. When he really messes up, he will call you. When he is grown and strong and tough and big and he feels like crying, he will come to you; because a man can cry in front of his mother without feeling self-conscious. Even when he grows up and has a new woman in his life and gets a new home, you are still his mother; home base, the ever constant, like the sun. Know that in your heart and everything else will fall into place.

The Best Christmas Gift EVER

Grandpa and Grandma Jacobson took the kids for a weekend in December. It was the BEST Christmas gift EVER! Mom and Dad got a lot of sleep and a date night to boot! Here are a few pictures of what Evan and Makenna were up to in the Springs! Sorry this post is a bit out of order.

Evan and Grandpa after feeding the birds and later moving firewood

Grandma, Evan, and Makenna

Sacral Dimples & Tethered Cords, huh?

Evan was born with a “sacral dimple” which is basically a dimple at the bottom of his spine. Doctors have kept an eye on it and have done ultrasounds and an MRI on it in his first year of life. Sacral dimples of concern are very deep or had hair growing out of them. Evan’s was deep but he had no hair growing out of it. His looked deep, but some professionals thought it looked deeper than it really was because of how small he was. Sacral dimples can indicate issues with the spine or spinal cord and that there could eventually be neurological or gross motor functioning issues (issues with walking and movement). Scans are used to see whether the spinal cord is fine or if there could be some “tethering.” Tethering is when the spinal cord is attached to something it shouldn’t be. Surgery is necessary to “untether” the spinal cord otherwise damage will occur as growth continues.

After the first MRI, we were told that “things look good but because he’s small, they want another MRI done in two years.” I was confused by this statement. If things looked good, why would they need to do another scan? What are they concerned about? I never got a straight answer, but focused on the “things look good” and chose not to worry about it. With everything else going on with Evan, the sacral dimple issue was put on the back burner until it was time to do another MRI. Hopefully they were just being thorough and wanted to definitely rule out any issues with the sacral dimple. And Evan was moving well after being a little delayed, so maybe everything was alright with his spinal cord.

Our new pediatrician was also confused about the past comments and recommendation so she encouraged me to go see a neurosurgeon with Evan to discuss our next step. The neurosurgeon could examine the sacral dimple and decide whether another MRI was truly necessary. When we met with the neurosurgeon, she checked out Evan’s sacral dimple but also looked at the old scans. She returned to where Evan and I were waiting and informed me that a second MRI was definitely necessary and that the old scans clearly showed that Evan’s spinal cord was longer than it should be and that there was a decent possibility that tethering existed. This news broke my heart as I knew that this would likely mean another surgery for Evan, one on his back, which seemed very high risk. I was also frustrated because I felt that the previous medical professionals had not been fully honest with me, they didn’t tell me that his spinal cord was longer than normal or anything close to that information.

We had the second MRI on Monday, 1/9/12. They needed to put Evan under as there was no way a 2 ½ year old would be able to stay still through the procedure. Anytime Evan gets put under anesthesia is hard for me as he had complications with it as a baby which resulted in him being hospitalized. I know it’s necessary, but I tend to worry. Ryan was unable to be at the hospital with me due to work issues so I was blessed to have my sister with me the whole time. She was great at keeping Evan occupied when I was talking with medical staff and provided emotional support for me when needed.


The nurse saw how much energy Evan had and let him run the hallway near the room we were waiting in ——–>

I was also thankful that I didn’t have to watch Evan be put under anesthesia (I hated not being with Evan in the past surgeries when he was put under, but the one time they let us be in the room with him when he was put under, it was really difficult to watch. I broke into tears. I then understood why past professionals said that they don’t tend to have parents witness it as it is difficult, even traumatizing, to watch).

Evan didn’t even care where I was or wasn’t as he was so excited to see a huge stuffed bear in the MRI room that he willingly went into a nurse’s arms and off he went! He also loved that they brought out a treasure chest of toys for him to choose from before his procedure! This hospital definitely knows how to keep kids happy. Evan’s MRI took longer than anticipated. The nurse who briefed us said it took longer because they needed to take some extra pictures. That didn’t sound good to me, but I kept praying that maybe things would be okay and that they were just being thorough.

The next day we found out that Evan’s cord is tethered (and he has an extra vertebrae) and that the extra pictures were because there were concerns about his kidneys. I felt like I had been given a double blow. Not only was he going to have another surgery (downtown and be in the hospital for at least two days), but now we needed to go back to the urologist with a new issue! After the initial sadness about the news, I’m trying to have a balanced perspective and look for some positives in all of this and here a few of the things I’m praising God for:

• The neurosurgeon is amazing. Not only is she thorough and smart, but she is also calming and empathic. You don’t always get all those qualities in a doctor.
• We had an awesome experience at Pres/St. Lukes-Rocky Mtn Hosp for Children. I initially wanted the surgery to be done closer to home so Makenna wasn’t very far away from us, but now am delighted that Evan will have his surgery here. I have never been somewhere where all the staff genuinely enjoy working with the kids. Evan loved it there and has already asked to go back! This means a lot as this is where his surgery will occur.
• The earlier in life Evan has this surgery, the less likely that there will be significant spinal cord damage. The fact that we’re doing this now means a better outcome for Evan. The neurosurgeon also said that they don’t directly operate on the spinal cord, but rather work where the tethering is and that makes the surgery lower-risk. She also indicated that there is no rehab after the surgery, that Evan should be back to his normal functioning quickly.
• My parents are now retired so they were able to be here as support (and to watch Makenna) during the day of the MRI and my mother may come back to help us when the surgery occurs. Also, my sister is taking some time off between nanny jobs so she has been able to be supportive in person which has helped a lot.

Evan’s surgery will occur on 2/7/12. Please pray for us!

January’s Curve Balls

It has been a difficult couple of months. I’ve been having health issues (migraines and other neurological stuff), Makenna’s been sick, Ryan’s had a lot of stress at work, and we just found out that Evan will have surgery on his back (I’ll write more about this later). This is disheartening as he’s already had three surgeries in his little life and we had hoped we were done! The bills are rolling in from all of the medical procedures and the appointment calendar is booking up…life feels out of control! Ryan and I both just want to catch our breath and had been hoping we’d be able to do this in the new year. It is now clear that this not in the cards for now.

It has also been hard juggling everything when I’m not at 100% power myself. I’ve been taking it day by day and have an awesome support system but at times it’s still daunting. A verse that has meant a lot to me is Isaiah 41:10:

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I have not felt alone in all of this. And I have such peace knowing that God is strengthening me and helping me, especially on the days when I’m not feeling well.

Today I got the perfect devotional emailed to me from our church. It meant a lot because of our current circumstances. It was so good that I thought I’d share it here:
______________________________________________________________________________

Be Still (By Cory Braggs—Journey Church, Centennial, CO)
Reading: Psalm 46 (especially v. 10)

I’m not one for enjoying life when life seems out of control. And there are differing degrees of “out of control.” It can be as small as not being able to find my car keys to as large as dealing with tragedy. No matter what it is, the tension point is the feeling of being caught off guard.

The unexpected. The unplanned. The unanticipated.

We all know these moments well. Sometimes these moments are laughable, and at other times they can be very painful. The problem is that when we feel this loss of control, our natural instinct is to regain control. And yes, at times we are able to get the control we need (like finding my car keys). But what about those times where control just isn’t attainable? Usually we will still dig our feet in the ground…and whether it’s with someone else, with God, or just ourselves, a good wrestling match occurs. Why? Cause we want the comfort and security of stability. We want everything to be okay, and we want to determine the process.

“Be still…and know that I am God.”

As a parent of young toddlers, one of my main responsibilities is changing diapers. It’s not enjoyable, but it is necessary. Yet through the many diapers changes, God has taught me a great spiritual truth. My son hates having his diaper changed, and almost every time it ends up being a wrestling match. What should have taken a few seconds ends up taking a few minutes. Only if my son knew that if he “stayed still” the experience would be less messy and so much easier. But he insists on staying resistant.

Stop resisting. Be still.

When life seems out of control, I don’t trust that God is in control. And when I don’t trust that God is in control, I resist allowing God to work and I take things into my own hands. And for some reason, when I try and take things into my own hands, I mess it up.

“Being still” isn’t necessarily about finding that quiet place and having peaceful reflection as much as it’s about stopping our resisting. It’s about trusting that God is in control…and that when He is in control, everything will work out. It might not be the process we desire, but our worshipful response isn’t control…it’s trust. Trust that God is God and I’m not.